


Stork Delivery

by OrionMoka



Category: Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Field Trips Never End Well, Surprise Family, Why Did I Write This?, Why is the Rum Gone?, radiation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-13
Updated: 2019-07-13
Packaged: 2020-06-27 09:30:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19788076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OrionMoka/pseuds/OrionMoka
Summary: “Override code ‘I Do What I Want’. Doctor Banner, I insist you meet with your guest. Peter Parker is requesting assistance.”“Hey! Who added character judgement to your code? I know that wasn’t me. Rodgers have you been lecturing my AI again?”





	1. Chapter 1

Ross had been exposed and arrested for illegal detainment and experimentation on a number of enhanced individuals. Shanked thirty-one times in prison by inmates because some of those enhanced individuals were children.

So here the Avengers sit, together, discussing the 14th rendition of the Accords, editing until they’re satisfied. It’s not a task any of them particularly  _ want _ to be doing in the middle of a Monday but they’re doing it. They’re doing it, talking about it, communicating with each other despite lingering resentment because it’s  _ important.  _ Important for them as a team, important for anyone with powers.

So when Friday interrupts with “Dr. Banner, you have a visitor,” they’re both relieved at the break in tension in the room, and frustrated at the disruption.

It’s met with the wave of a hand and a muttered “Not a good time, Fri. Mute.” from Stark, and they expect that to be the end of it. Instead, they all turn to each other in surprise at the AI’s response.

“Override code ‘ _ I Do What I Want’.  _ Doctor Banner, I insist you meet with your guest. Peter Parker is requesting assistance.” A live video display drops down onto the conference holotable, audio playing softly.

_ “Please Ms. Friday AI, mam, I really need to see Dr. Banner, or maybe, I don’t know, look, I need to be somewhere radiation proof. Something, I think something’s wrong and I can’t expose a hospital to-”  _ Friday cuts the audio, jumping back in, “the level of radiation he’s currently emitting, which has increased 13% from initial scans and rising. I highly recommend isolating Mr. Parker in Green Lab. His vitals are showing instability and rising fever approaches 103 degrees. Several anomalies detected-”

“Friday, lock it down! Send him to my lab, give me the quickest way there-” Bruce has already jumped up from the table, knee hitting it in the process and sending Accords documentation flying.

“I have already redirected the elevator. Lighting the fasted route to Green Lab.”

“Keep me updated on his stats,” Bruce adds and then he’s gone before the rest of them so much as twitch.

“Hey Fri, pull up the kid’s background,” Tony starts after the brief pause, flinging his notes from the meeting aside with a gesture, and casting the new files onto the conference table. “Who is this kid? Give me the short version.”

“Displaying all available files regarding Peter Parker. Born to parents Richard Parker, and Mary Fitzpatrick-” a dated family photo snaps to the front.

“Friday, bring up files on Richard Parker-” Steve interrupts at the same time a quiet “Display files for Mary Fitzpatrick-” slips out of Natasha. Both are sitting rigidly in their seats as the team looks at the photo.

After a moment, all three profiles are displayed with the boy in the center as Friday continues, “Father, formerly Richard Arkin, known Hydra scientist, notable work includes progress in replicating the serum used in creation of Captain America. Mary Fitzpatrick, formerly Maria Babicheva, alleged association with Red Room operations in Russia-”

“Where are they now?” Rhodey pops in.

“Richard and Mary Parker, deceased, 8 years ago. Cause of death, plane crash. Ruled accidental due to pilot error, however Shield files indicate a targeted operation due to Richard’s work.

Guardianship passed to Richard’s brother Benjamin Parker, unaffiliated, and wife May Parker. Benjamin Parker, deceased. Killed in a gang initiated dispute last year. Death witnessed by Peter Parker-”

“And May Parker?” Tony interjects.

“May Parker is currently hospitalised with stage 4 metastasized breast cancer. There are no other listed relatives.”

“Okay, enough of the tragic backstory, what about the kid Fri?”

“Peter Parker, age 14, attends Midtown School of Science and Technology on full scholarship. Enrolled in Advanced curriculum, AP classes. Highest academic standing among students. 4.23 GPA with Honours. Active member of chess club. Active member of mathematics league. Active student elected representative of robotics club. Active member of academic decathlon team going to nationals in 3 weeks. Noted declination to attend due to financial issues.

Peter Parker has no record and is not listed in any federal, international, or shield databases. He appears to be a very intelligent young man.”

“We took care of the last base but if he knew about his parents then-”

“His parents left Hydra and clearly made an effort to stay off their radar Steve, even if Richard was continuing his research-”

“It is unlikely Peter Parker has any knowledge of his parents former careers. He was age 6 when they died, human memories from that age are notably few-”

“Okay so what is he doing here? Shouldn't he be in school? Why's he in the lab leaking radiation?”

“Midtown School of Science and Technology is scheduled for a field trip to Oscorp at the present time. It appears Mr. Parker encountered something there and chose to seek assistance from Dr. Banner given his experience with radiation. He informed me of this upon arrival with concern over affecting those around him. I believe this lends credit to his innocence,” Friday adds to the commotion.

“Hey! Who added character judgement to your code? I know that wasn’t me. Rodgers have you been lecturing my AI again?”

“Stay on topic Stark! Friday, has Bruce figured out what’s wrong with him? Patch us through to the lab,” Steve voices over Tony’s complaints, waiting for the click.

When it comes, Tony jumps in as the first to speak. “Brucie? How’s it going down there? We’ve got a tragic backstory and some crazy parentage but not much else.”

_ “-ally can't talk ri- -ow Tony, need- -xtra hand, send Steeve, -- only one who can stand-- radiation level- -shit- send Barnes too!” _ the link cuts out, and without hesitation the two are already running for the hall.

Three minutes later Friday clicks back on, delivering a line two of the Avengers recognise and never thought they'd hear.

“Boss, Stork Delivery protocol initiated. Contacting Ms. Potts.”

Every ounce of blood appears to drain from Tony’s face. Rhodey spits a mouthful of orange juice he’d been drinking onto Sam.

“Tones?!” he sputters, “Is that a joke?!”


	2. Chapter 2

“Run it again.”

“Sir, I've already run the analysis twice. You are a familial, paternal match with-”

“Fri! Run it again!”

“Very well sir.”

He lifts the glass to his lips, looking blankly over the rim. He'd left the meeting room almost immediately, ignoring Rhodey calling to him in the background. Mind-numbing was what he needed right now. Alcohol was good for that. Except- he stopped to look at the amber liquid in the glass- drinking is probably what lead to this situation in the first place. 

He sets the cup down, scooting it away. He sits with his head in his hands as friday speaks up again.

“Confirmed, you are Peter Parker’s biological father. Sir, your heart rate is slightly erratic. Shall I hold further information until a later time?”

“No Fri, it's okay. It's okay girl. Who-” his voice cracks, “who is his mother? Is she- who did I….”

“There seem to be discrepancies in Peters DNA, sir. It may take a few moments.”

“Discrepancies? Fri? What's wrong with my k-  _ my kid?” _

“His DNA appears to be mutating at the moment, however, there are two other notable DNA matches. Natasha Romanova, formerly Natalia Nikiforova is Peter’s biological mother.”

_ “She’s what?  _ I only slept with her once! Fifteen years ago! And she never thought to mention we have a  _ kid?!” _

“Also detected, a familial, paternal match to James Barnes. This is most likely a result of Hydra's soldier serum derived from his blood injected in utero. Considering the serum used on James Barnes was derived from remnants of the one used on Steve Rodgers, I can identify minimal but corresponding DNA from Rodgers a well.” 

“Wait wait wait, whose kid is this?! Your telling me he's a DNA conglomerate of  _ four of us?” _

“Based on DNA analysis, I would consider you and Ms. Romanova his biological parents.”

Tony slammed his head into the desk, and the glass bounced off to shatter on the floor.


	3. Chapter 3

After Stark drifted out like a ghost, as if all of their questions went unheard, Sam turned his attention to cleaning the orange juice off himself while the rest turned to its source, who clearly had at least some knowledge of what was going on. It only took a moment for Rhodey to snap out of his daze and catch the stares directed his way.

“Hey, hey! Before you bomb me with questions, let me say something. You're all aware Tony used to party a lot. And drink a lot. Way more than he should. He only joked about it, but a couple times while he was hungover, he talked making a protocol in case there was ever a kid he didn't know about. I guess he put it in the system just in case, and since Banner probably took the kid's blood for analysis....”

“Friday ran it against the protocol,” Natasha supplied, though her expression didn’t change. 

“Nothing I’ve ever learned about Stark indicated he had a kid.

“Stork delivery, like the old wives tale of how babies arrive?” Wanda questioned. “Stark wasn’t aware he had a child.”

“Wow! I'm not the only dad in the group group anymore, huh?”

“Clint-” Sam sighs just as Friday’s voice returns to the room, making him pause.

“Ms. Romanova, Mr. Barnes, Captain Rodgers. Your presence is required in the penthouse.” 


End file.
